Tamaki's Bucket List
by shadowstarr
Summary: Tamaki gets the idea to make a bucket list.....and of course, everything is complicated, simply because Tamaki is Tamaki. Rated T just in case. Meh.
1. Chapter 1

**Tamaki's bucket List**

**Diclaimer: Dude, I don't own Ouran.**

The last lazy Ouran class before summer vacation found a tired Tamaki Suoh doodling in his World History notebook, dreaming wistfully of the season to come. He would soon be free of all schoolwork, free to hang out with his friends, and best of all, free to go to the beach.

Oh how he loved the beach.

He could just see it now.

The sun,

Haruhi in a swimsuit,

the sand,

Haruhi in a swimsuit,

the ocean,

Haruhi in a swimsuit….

"Hey, Daddy,"

A bored, slightly mocking voice pulled him from his reverie. "Not that I care, but you're drooling on your notebook."

Tamaki jumped. He looked up to see Kyouya routinely taking notes beside him, speaking out of the corner of his mouth. Tamaki was suddenly VERY glad that Kyouya couldn't read minds.

But then again, you never knew with Kyouya. He was so full of dark surprises that Tamaki wouldn't put it past him. As a precaution, he tried to push the thought of Haruhi on the beach further into the recesses of his mind.

"I wasn't drooling," he insisted. "Kings don't drool."

He hastily wiped the telltale line of spit from his chin. Kyouya smirked, but said nothing, returning his attention to the teacher.

"And that, kids, is why Japan kicks the rest of the world's collective ass," Their teacher, Tanuya- sensei, finished. "And with that completely true statement…."

The class tensed in excitement, ready to spring out of their seats and burst spontaneously into song. (They'd seem it done on Disney channel, and were very excited to try it.)

"….I have but one more thing to say." The class groaned and sat down. Unfortunately, their spontaneous singing would just have to wait. Tanuya-sensei ignored them, and pressed on.

"Now, as you know, I am very old." The second years nodded in agreement. It was common knowledge at Ouran that Tanuya was, in fact, very very old.

"And," the elderly teacher continued, "There are many things that I regret doing in life."

The class sighed, mentally preparing themselves for another lecture. Tanuya detected their annoyance.

"Just hear me out," he pleaded, and continued. "Now, although I have many regrets, what I regret the most are the chances that I didn't take, the things that I didn't do."

He surveyed the students in the room. "There are so many things that I wish I'd done, but now It's simply too late." He sighed. "But, my young friends, it is not too late for you. You are young, and well off-"

The class chuckled appreciatively. At Ouran, the students were always happy to be reminded of their money and social statuses. Tanuya smiled sadly.

"But I fear that many of you will turn out like me, and will end up regretting not what you did, but what you did not do." His face hardened. "And that is why I'm giving you a very important task."

The second years protested. "But sensei, we have sooo much summer work already!" A girl protested. Her classmates nodded in agreement. Tanuya smiled. "Fear not, children, for this is an optional assignment. It will not affect your grade in the least, and you don't even have to hand it in."

"Oh," the girl said simply. Relieved that there was no more work to be done, she and her classmates began to talk excitedly amongst themselves about the upcoming summer break, completely ignoring the teacher.

But one student sat at attention, riveted by the old man's words. Tamaki, the ever emotional King of the Host Club, quietly sat in his seat, waiting for his teacher to continue.

Tanuya glanced around sadly. "Yes," he said quietly, surveying his ignorant students. "This is for yourself, and only yourself. If only you could see that."

Tanuya's gaze then fell on Tamaki, who was watching him intently. The teacher smiled.

"Tamaki Suoh," he muttered to himself.

"Interesting."

Out loud, Tanuya continued his lecture. "Yes," he repeated, now ignoring the fact that most of his class was doing other things.

"What I would like you to do," He paused for dramatic effect, pretending that there were actually people in the room that cared (well, Tamaki cared, but he meant anyone that mattered, really).

"Is to make…"

The room (meaning Tamaki) held its breath in suspense.

"….A bucket list." Tanuya finished with flourish.

Tamaki gasped.

"_A BUCKET list…"_ He thought_. "Interesting!"_

Now he was excited. He smiled, raising his hand.

"Tanuya- sensei," he yelled, almost falling out of his chair in an effort to speak to his teacher. "That's a wonderful idea! A bucket list…why, I've never even thought about it!"

He tossed his gorgeous hair back and laughed with excitement, then quickly raised his hand again. "Tanuya-sensei," he screamed again.

Tanuya looked at him expectantly, happy that at least someone understood what he was saying, someone thought that it was important.

"Yes, Suoh?"

Tamaki smiled, ecstatic.

"Tanuya- sensei…" he paused.

"...What's a bucket list?"

Tanuya rolled his eyes.

Classic Suoh. He should have known.

"A bucket list," he explained calmly, "is a list of things that you would like to do before you die."

"Before I…die?" Tamaki cocked his head, thinking about it.

Finally, he raised his hand again.

"Oh, I get it!" His eyes shown with excitement, and Tanuya leaned forward. At last, someone who understood.

"It's one of those commoner games, isn't it?" Tamaki squealed. He began speaking very quickly, his excitement taking over, like it always did when commoner things were mentioned.

"I have to go out and collect things, and put them in buckets, right? Like..before the end of the time limit? If not, then I die, right? Like, Game over!"

He laughed at his own brilliance. "_Man," _Tamaki thought to himself, _"Sometimes my amazing smartness astounds even me!"_

If Tanuya had known what a facepalm was, he probably would have done it, right then and there.

But he didn't…so he didn't.

"_Leave it to Tamaki to ruin a moment with his utter stupidity_," he sighed.

"No, Suoh, I mean like actual dying. It is NOT a game. A bucket list is a list of things that you must get done, places you must go, things you MUST see, before you die."

He paused, not sure that Tamaki fully understood. "

As in, for good."

He looked over at Tamaki. "Get it now?"

A look of intense concentration appeared on Tamaki's face. "_Things I must see…"_ Tamaki thought.

Instantly, an image of Haruhi in a bikini popped into his mind. His eyes widened.

"OOOHH! I get it now!" He nodded fervently. "Yes, I see! A bucket list is EXTREMELY important!"

His imaginary bikini clad Haruhi winked at him.

He ran up to the front of the room and army saluted a very surprised Tanuya.

"Tanuya-sensei," Tamaki announced loudly, seriously. "I promise you, I WILL complete my bucket list. I'll…I'll make you proud!"

And with that, he sped out of the room.

"_Wow,"_ Tanuya watched him go, impressed, _"He really understands the importance and complexity of this assignment…I think I've really changed him."_

Satisfied with himself, Tanuya smiled and dismissed his class, not realizing that they had all already left five minutes ago. He didn't care, though. He had really made a profound difference in a student's life. He firmly believed that Tamaki Suoh had become more mature after those ten minutes of chatting.

That night, he went to bed a proud man.

And Bikini-Haruhi mentally followed Tamaki everywhere that day.

**A/N: Thank you for reading!**

**Review, please. It would make Tamaki happy. You know it.**


	2. And so it begins

**Tamaki's Bucket List**

**Ch. 2**

"Men, today might just be the most important day of your young lives, so pay close attention," Tamaki announced to the occupants of Music Room Three.

The responses were varied, but none even resembled "paying close attention".

Kyouya was busy calculating the latest club profits, and debating whether or not it would benefit him to sell Haruhi's hairbrush (stolen courtesy of the twins). Upon deciding that it would, he made a mental note to allow the twins to steal some more things from Haruhi, and set about entering the information onto the club website, clacking away at the keyboard.

Hunny was, of course, eating cake, and Mori was, unsurprisingly, sitting by his side. (Nobody would ever accuse them of being unpredictable, not that their fangirls were complaining.)

And lastly, Hikaru and Kaoru were doing their best to make Haruhi's life miserable, chasing her around the room and screaming "PLEEEEAAASSSEEEE PLAY DOCTOR WITH US!" in unison.

Uncharacteristically, Tamaki opened his eyes mid rant and actually (gasp!) noticed that the club wasn't paying attention to him.

He pouted. "Awwww c'mon!"

Still, they ignored him.

Tamaki sighed and took his customary sulking stance, finding the darkest corner of the room, training a spotlight on it, and flipping his hair back dramatically, making sure that he looked as young as possible. Once he was content that he looked pitiful enough, he trained his depressed gaze on the club member most likely to notice his public display of immaturity: none other than Haruhi.

As Haruhi rushed past, desperate to get away from the Terrible Two and the nurse outfit they were holding aloft, Tamaki whimpered pitifully. For the barest second, Haruhi took notice and looked at him.

Tamaki made his eyes wide and cocked his head to the side, as if to say "Don't you care about poor widdle Tamaki??" In response, Haruhi rolled her eyes and gestured to the twins. They looked at Tamaki with raised eyebrows, and Tamaki smiled.

"I win," he thought.

Once they noticed that Tamaki was sulking, the rest of the club took their customary "We're gonna be lectured by our King" stances, lining up in front of Tamaki. It was always better to give in to their blond leader than to ignore him. If they ignored him, he would start to cry, and Tamaki cried LOUDLY.

It definitely wasn't worth it.

"What's up, Lord?" Hikaru asked, hoping the answer would involve something that would cause trouble. His twin had the same thought. "Anything we need to blow up?" Tamaki shook his head, and the twins frowned.

"No, men, today I call upon you for advice."

He then proceeded to tell them about the bucket list, complete with sound effects and large gestures.

"So…you need us to help you think of things to put on your bucket list, Tama-chan?" Hunny asked when he was finished.

"Absolutely correct, my sweets loving senpai!"

"But..isn't the list supposed to have stuff YOU wanna do or see? It's supposed to be personal, right? So why are we helping you put stuff on it?" Mori nodded stoically in agreement.

Tamaki laughed regally, and Haruhi rolled her eyes at his dramatics.

"Of course, I see where you're coming from, Hunny- senpai. However, you all are my family, and it is only right that you should partake in all of my adventures!"

"So, pretty much, you have no ideas and you need us to figure it out for you."

Everyone nodded in agreement with Kyouya's deduction.

Tamaki gasped (dramatically!). "Of course not! I have plenty of ideas!"

The club all looked at him with eyebrows raised.

"Well, okay," Tamaki admitted. "I actually only have one idea."

Bikini- Haruhi giggled and waved at him in his mind's eye. Everyone stared at Tamaki as he blushed and waved at seemingly nothing. They weren't particularly surprised, though. Each one had entertained the notion that Tamaki had schizophrenia at one point or another.

They waited him out, until finally he shook his head to free the image in his mind and focused on the boys (and girl) before him. "Alright, any ideas?"

They stared blankly at him with the air of "Oh crap, we're about to get sucked into another crazy plan, aren't we?"

Tamaki smiled toothily.

"Operation: Bucket List is a go. Men, get ready for action."

They all surrounded the large table in the middle of the room, and by the bright sunlight streaming through the windows, reluctantly began their crazy new journey.

* * *

**A/N: Why is it that Tamaki reminds me so much of Aaya from Fruits Basket in this chapter? Is that strange? :3**

**Anyway, I haz a problem. As of now, I only have a few ideas for the Bucket List. Care to help? If anyone has any ideas, please leave a review and I will most probably use them. Thank you so much, and thanks also for reading and reviewing!**

**:)~~Starr~~:)**


	3. Haruhi's item: The Library, Part 1

**A/N: This was written over a few days in Economics class, which is at the end of the day, and so I was super burnt out. As usual, I only skimmed my rough draft to fix grammar and flow errors and such, because I am super lazy, and so it probably sounds like a five year old wrote it. It's okay, though, you guys should just blame my Eco teacher. Enjoy ^.^**

**Tamaki's Bucket List**

**Chapter 3**

**Haruhi's item: The Library: Part 1**

"Are we there yet?"

Haruhi sighed and sat back in her seat, doing her best to ignore the complaints of the twins. Looking out the window at the clouds zooming by, the wonder she had felt before at being in the air returned. It was her first time ever being on a plane, and the fact that the plane was a private jet made it even more disorienting.

"Awwwwww!" The amazement dissipated as Haruhi felt two arms land on her shoulders. "Look at you, Haruhi!" she heard Hikaru say into her right ear. "Yeah, your awe is soooo cute!" Kaoru continued into her left. Haruhi narrowed her eyes.

"Okay," she thought. "Enjoyment over."

"Come on guys, leave me alone!" she complained aloud.

They ignored her, of course.

"Hey, Boss! Did you know? This is Haruhi's first ride in a jet!"

"Oh, no." Haruhi sunk down lower into her seat. "Here it comes." She braced herself for impact, and sure enough…"Ha-ru-hiiiiiiiiiii!"

Haruhi winced as Tamaki came flying towards her, blond hair streaming behind him, a dangerous look in his eye.

She watched him come closer, dread making her stomach fall. "Countdown. 3….2…1.."

Tamaki landed in Haruhi's lap, knocking the breath out of her. He cupped her face, and she looked stoically away. "Haruhi, why didn't you TELL Daddy this was your first time in a jet?" He pouted. "I would've gotten a big one." He gestured to the interior of the "small" jet they were currently in, which included two separate arcades and a bowling alley.

"Um..sorry?"

"Sorry? Haruhi, you have to talk to Daddy about things! I..I don't want to risk missing your childhood! I've already missed so much!" His eyes began to fill with tears.

"Uh, oh," Kaoru chided. "Haruhi, you know better than to make Daddy cry." "Yeah, now he won't be in the mood to play with us!" Hikaru chimed in. Haruhi noticed that they had undergone one of their famous two second costume changes. They were now wearing overalls suitable for five year olds. "Mommy!" the twins whined. "Sis is being mean to us!"

"Haruhi, be nice to your brothers," Kyouya said, materializing, as always, from nowehere. "Yeah, family is important, Haru-chan," Hunny chimed in, with Mori silently nodding by his side.

Haruhi sighed and looked away from them at the sky outside, trying in vain to ignore the type of craziness that somehow always managed to ensue. This was going to be a long flight.

Hours later, the Host Club members emerged from an air conditioned airport terminal. Haruhi shaded her eyes, squinting into the sun. "Now, can you finally tell me where we are?" she complained.

After the bucket list fiasco, Tamaki had suddenly ordered all of them to pack, and had whisked them off to who knows where on a private jet, refusing to give up any details about the trip.

Haruhi had refused to go, of course, opting to work instead, but Kyouya had managed to convince her father that going to a foreign country would be a good experience for Haruhi, and her father had wholeheartedly agreed, with the one warning of "keep that Tamaki away from my baby girl, I'm not ready to be a grandpa at such a young age."

So now Haruhi found herself unwillingly in a foreign country, with no idea what the hell was going on.

Typical Host Club.

Tamaki was almost spazzing in his excitement. "But of course I can tell you! Now that we are here, I see fit to let you in on the secret!" Tamaki threw his arms up dramatically. "Welcome, my dear Haruhi, to Mexico."

If he was expecting an enthusiastic response, he was sadly disappointed. The crickets chirped at him as he stood there waiting for Haruhi to say something.

She just looked blankly at him.

"Okay, "she finally said. "But..why?"

Tamaki, clearly miffed that nobody actually cared as much as he did, responded with a pout. "Why, the Bucket List, of course!"

"What?"

"Everybody put an idea on the bucket list, right? Now, normally people wait their entire lives to complete theirs, but I figure that since we're rich and have the assets, we might as well complete our list now!"

"Okay," Haruhi said again, still struggling to understand. "But..I don't remember anyone putting anything about Mexico on the list."

"Silly Haruhi," Tamaki laughed. "Don't you remember what you wrote?"

Of course she did. She had tried to think of a completely harmless and boring thing to put on the list, to avoid Tamaki blowing it out of proportion and taking them on a crazy adventure.

So much for that.

"Yeah," she said. "I wrote 'Go to a library'".

It was boring enough that she figured there was no way for Tamaki to do anything insane with it, and besides, she needed a book for Law class anyway.

"Exactly!" Tamaki beamed, waiting for her to get the point.

"So let me get this straight," Haruhi said. "I asked you if we could go to a library, so you just grabbed your private jet and whisked us off to Mexico. Is that right?"

"Yep."

"Okay, sure."

It made perfect sense using Tamaki logic (Aka none), so she stopped asking questions and decided to go along with it. It would start to become clear soon, and even if it didn't, there had to be a place around here for her to find a Law book, and to study.

Haruhi sighed.

"Alright," she muttered. "Mexico it is."

**So there you have it. As always, if any of you have any ideas for this story whatsoever, let me know! New ideas would be awesome, and welcomed. Thanks for reading, and don't forget to leave a review. Reviews are nice. Reviews will make your skin shine with the light of 1000 suns. Trufax.**


	4. Haruhi's item: The Library, Part 2

**A/N: Forgive me, but you might be annoyed with me after this chapter. :p You see, when I write, I don't plan it out in advance- I kinda just let the characters take me places, so I had no clue where this was going before I wrote it. Apparently, the characters disagreed with what I wanted, and so the chapter took a different turn than I expected, and thus might not hold your interest. I hope it does, though, and if you have no idea what I'm talking about, then AWESOME. Enjoy :)**

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* * *

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**Tamaki's Bucket List**

**Chapter Four**

**Haruhi's Item: The Library, Pt 2**

"Is that even the right map?"

The Host Club members were in search of whatever it was that Tamaki kept getting all excited about; the reason they had all gotten up and spontaneously gone to Mexico.

The only person who actually knew where they were headed was Tamaki, though Haruhi had a strong feeling that Kyouya had some sort of idea also, seeing as Kyouya pretty much knew everything.

So now they were roughing it in the middle of the desert, crowded around the large map in Tamaki's hand, with nothing but granola bars (caviar flavored, of course), a water bottle, and a flashlight.

Not to mention all the extra food. And selections of exotic drinks. And the fact that they were riding in a limo. With a chauffer.

The whole "roughing it" thing apparently didn't translate well into the language of the rich.

Anyway, despite the fact that the entire "adventure" image their King was going for wasn't working out too well, the Host Club was enjoying their trip, for the most part. (Excluding Haruhi, who didn't really care where they were going as long as it included an opportunity to study.)

But what they were enjoying most of all was watching Tamaki and Kyouya debate on whether they were going in the right direction.

"Kyouya, I know what I'm doing," Tamaki said huffily.

"No, you don't," Kyouya replied calmly, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

The other occupants of the limo followed the exchange like a tennis match, moving their heads back and forth in time to the argument.

"They're like a married couple sometimes," Kaoru muttered. Hikaru nodded. "Except you can barely even tell that Kyouya's getting upset, he's so stoic. Sometimes it seems like Tamaki's arguing with a wall."

"Well yeah," Haruhi added. "A really manipulative, demonic wall."

They all watched as Tamaki glared at the map as if he was mad at it, and then made large gestures to Kyouya, who ignored him. In response, Tamaki threw the map against the car window and pouted.

Still, Kyouya ignored him.

While Tamaki turned gray and began to deteriorate like only anime characters can do, Kyouya knocked on the driver's window. When the tinted screen came down, Kyouya said "Yamagichi, I'm sending some coordinates to your GPS. Please follow the directions." The chauffer nodded wordlessly, and pushed the window back up.

Kyouya turned around to find the rest of the club staring at him, eyebrows raised.

"What?"

"Kyo- chan, you knew where we were going the whole time?"

Kyouya shrugged. "Yeah."

Tamaki instantly stopped dissolving and surged upwards, angrily wringing Kyouya's shirt.

"Then..why..did..you..pretend..you didn't?"

Kyouya's glasses glinted evilly, and he turned his face away from Tamaki, grinning all the way. "It was entertaining."

Tamaki's indignant yell could be heard from miles away.

* * *

One crazy hour later, the Club piled out of the limo, each thanking Yamagichi in turn. The chauffer nodded and drove away, leaving the seven of them in the middle of the desert.

"Okay, we're here. Now what?" The twins asked together.

Tamaki, now fully recovered from his tantrum in the car, smiled blindingly and gestured towards something behind their heads. They all turned around to see a large cathedral- like building behind them; so tall that its topmost tower seemed to be touching the sun itself.

Haruhi's mouth dropped open. "Oh, don't tell me.."

"Haruhi," Tamaki said. "Welcome to 'La Biblioteca Olvidada, The Forgotten Library". (A/N: Sorry if that's wrong, Google Translator's a bitch.)

Haruhi simply stared at it, while the other club members "ooh"ed and "ahh"ed appropriately.

"Of course," Haruhi thought, somewhat miserably. "What else was I expecting from Tamaki?" She shook her head bemusedly.

"This library is the hardest to get to in the world, and it's also said to be.." Tamaki paused for dramatic affect, and then continued. "CURSED."

Hunny's eyes widened, and he scooted closer to Mori for protection. The twins adopted identical looks of mischief. They were going to have fun with this.

"Well, let's go," Tamaki said brightly. "Time to fulfill Haruhi's portion of the bucket list!"

They all filed after him as he marched towards the entrance, Haruhi trailing behind them, wondering how Kyouya could possibly get GPS coordinates for a supposedly hidden, secret library.

* * *

As they approached the library, Haruhi could see that Tamaki was practically trembling with excitement. Beside her, she heard the twins placing money bets on if Tamaki would explode or not. She was almost tempted to join them, considering how much he was shaking.

When they finally reached the door, Tamaki turned to look at Haruhi. "Well, my dear daughter, are you ready for this glorious moment?"

Haruhi stopped scratching the mosquito bite that held her full attention and looked up distractedly. "Uh..yeah, sure," she said, not even bothering to hide the monotone in her voice.

Tamaki pouted. "Come on, we've come all this way! You mean to tell me you're not even a little bit excited?"

Before Haruhi could respond, however, the twins each grabbed one of her arms from behind and began to move them, acting as puppet masters, with Haruhi as the puppet.

"Oh of course I'm excited, Tamaki- senpai," Hikaru exclaimed in falsetto, attempting (and failing) to successfully imitate Haruhi. "Yeah, this is gonna be the greatest day of my life," Kaoru crooned in the same voice, miming using Haruhi's arms. "I love you, Tamaki- senpai!"

"Cut it out, guys!" Haruhi said angrily, swatting their hands away.

"Tama- chan, when are we going into the library? I wanna see some books," Hunny broke in.

At this, they all looked towards Tamaki, who hadn't responded, seeing as his crazy imagination had been sent into overdrive by the twins' imitation of Haruhi professing her love for him.

"Okay, this is ridiculous," Haruhi muttered, heading for the library door.

She was just reaching for the doorknob when Hunni (A/N: I keep changing the spelling of his name by accident. *sigh*) came up behind her.

"Careful, Haru-chan!" Hunni said in a quavering voice, ignoring the crash that ensued from a drooling Tamaki being pushed over by the mischievous twins. (They had wanted to see if moving Tamaki would bring him out of his daydream. It hadn't worked, so they were now abusing him soundly, relishing the fact that when Tamaki finally came to, he would find himself with bruises galore and no idea where they came from.)

"Remember what Tamaki said! The library might be..," Hunny paused for dramatic effect, like he had seen Tamaki do. "Cursed," he whispered, producing a flashlight out of nowhere and holding it under his face to complete the creepy effect.

"Mmhhmmm. Yeah. That's real interesting, Hunny- senpai."

Haruhi, of course, had been completely ignoring everything going on behind her, and had been attempting to open the library door, the sooner to get her Law book and get home.

Hunny, disappointed that Haruhi had completely ignored him, and having managed to spook _himself_ a bit by talking about the cursed library, was now being comforted by Mori.

"Why..won't..this..open?" Haruhi complained, tugging furiously on the doorknob.

"Because you don't have the key," said a voice to her right.

"Huh?"

Haruhi turned to find Mori standing there, inspecting the door.

"You need a key to open this door. See the keyhole?"

Which was probably the longest sentence Haruhi had ever heard him utter.

"Uhh..yeah. Hey, you're right."

Once Haruhi had recovered from the shock of hearing Mori's voice (which only emerged once in a blue moon), she inspected the doorknob more carefully and discovered a tiny keyhole, which, in her haste, she had overlooked at first.

"Ah, yes, of course you need the Clave del Bbiblioteca." Kyouya intoned, coming up on Haruhi's other side.

Tamaki, having finally been beaten into reality by Hikaru and Kaoru, came limping up to Kyouya.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'OF COURSE'? YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS? AND WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THIS UNNECESSARY SPANISH?"

The look in his eye was venomous.

Kyouya glanced over at Tamaki with a "no duh" expression.

"But of course. You didn't think you could get into a super secret, high profile library just by finding it, did you?"

Tamaki scowled because that was, of course, exactly what he had thought.

As the twins tried valiantly to hold in their laughter at their Lord failing yet again, Tamaki tried hiding his disappointment by yelling at Kyouya some more.

"Why. Didn't. You. TELL ME?"

Kyouya shrugged.

"Honestly, I didn't think anyone would be stupid enough to assume that they could just waltz into the library with no key. I suppose, though, that by now I really should have your caliber of idiot entered into my mental calculations."

Tamaki went to bash his head against the library wall.

* * *

A few minutes later, the club organized itself (well, as much as the Host Club _ever_ got organized) and filed once again into the limo Kyouya had called for: Hunny, both disappointed and a little relieved that they wouldn't be going into the library just yet scooted in first, followed by Mori, who was silent once again. Kyouya elegantly stepped into the car before the twins, who were more than a little bruised from an encounter with their Boss involving an unconscious (from bashing his head against a stone wall) Tamaki, a permanent marker, and an attempt at a marker-moustache.

Tamaki, for his part, had stopped being disappointed about the key as soon as he realized that it just meant that their little adventure would take longer, which was the same reason Haruhi was now sitting resolutely in the sand, head in her hands.

"Come along, daughter," Tamaki exclaimed, pulling on Haruhi's arm. "Time for more fun!"

Haruhi groaned. "Senpai, when are you going to realize that none of this is fun?"

As usual, though, Tamaki turned a deaf ear on Haruhi's extreme lack of interest.

"Yes, yes, I know you're excited. And now…ONWARD!"

Haruhi barely even blinked when a superhero's cape magically appeared on Tamaki's shoulders.

"TO THE LIMO WE GO!" As Tamaki dragged her to the waiting limo, Haruhi looked towards the heavens and begged whoever was listening to please, _please, _shut him up just this once.

To her dismay, the heavens ignored her, and so she spent the rest of the trip in resigned silence, trying to pretend she was anywhere but there.

* * *

**A/N: See what I mean? I wrote the chapter fully expecting them to go into the library, but Haruhi, Mori, and Kyouya were like "Nuh-uh, not yet," and suddenly they need a key. So I'm sorry if you get frustrated that nothing much happened yet. But at least now you know it's not my fault, really. xD (Or something like that.) **

**By the way, even if you think I'm crazy now, I'd appreciate a review. Reviews are nice. ^.^. Also, like I keep saying, if you have any ideas for what the Bucket List items for the others can be, let me know! I might use them :)**

******Okay, I'll leave you alone now. BYE. :)**


	5. What happens in Vegas

**A/N: Hey guys! Long time no speak! *is ashamed* I haven't added to this story in two years. And i am so so so so sorry. I'm in college now, and it's not a walk in the park, but that's not an excuse. Thank you SO much for the reviews, the favorites, and the alerts. It means a lot to me. **

**This story is back. I will try to actually update regularly. Really! **

**This chapter is the first one that is suggestion inspired. Spider9x asked that Kyouya do something very OOC, and here is the result. Well, the end of the chapter at least. The beginning was just me in the mood to mess with Tamaki. :)**

**Thank you all once again. You are amazing.**

* * *

It had been two days since the Host Club had returned from their less than fruitful trip abroad, and Tamaki was still sulking about it. He had spent the past couple of days in the club room's storage closet in his customary fetal position. This time, however, he had set himself up for the long term- complete with a sleeping bag, 56 cups of commoner's ramen, and a proper mushroom harvesting kit.

"Hey, boss, are you dead?"

Hikaru and Kaoru knocked on the storage room door. They were used to Tamaki's occasional pouting session, but he had never had one lasting this long. Although the twins would never admit it, they were a little worried about him.

When there was no answer from the closet, the twins looked at each other and came to a silent agreement. As one, they opened the closet door.

What they found was forever etched in their memories as one of the greatest moments of their lives.

What happened:

1) Tamaki turned around slowly as the twins opened the door. The three boys stared at each other for a moment, until

2)Tamaki's eyes widened and a dreamy expression crossed his face. As the twins gave each other the generic "What the hell is his problem" look,

3)Tamaki began to giggle.

A lot.

He was laughing so hard that he fell over, his body convulsing with each peal.

"Um, boss-" Hikaru began.

"-You okay," his twin finished.

At the sound of their voices, Tamaki seemed to come to his senses for a moment. He gazed at the twins as if he had never seen them before and whispered "You're….THE SAME!" in an awed sort of voice.

And then he began to laugh again.

The twins looked at one another, really alarmed now.

"Uh..yeah. Boss, are you-"

"You're just-hahaaaa-look at that-hahahaaa-orange hair-hahahaaa-how is this possible-hahaha-this is a conspiracy-haha…ha..ha."

As quickly as he had started, Tamaki stopped laughing, and a terrified expression replaced the giddy one.

"A conspiracy. This is all a conspiracy. OH MY GOD GUYS WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE THIS IS-"

He paused mid freak out and the dreamy expression took over once more.

"PFFFFFT"

He was doubled over in laughter again.

The twins were used to the occasional strange quirk from their lord, but this was something different. This wasn't normal.

They looked nervously at the blond teenager rolling round in hysterics. It was time to take action.

The boys looked at each other, and, at the same time, screamed "KYOUYA!"

Kyouya came leisurely strolling into the closet. "Yes," he asked in a completely disinterested tone.

Wordlessly, the twins pointed to Tamaki, who was now in tears he was laughing so hard.

"What's so funny," Kyouya asked.

"Nothing," the twins replied. "We just opened the door and he started freaking out. Like, more than usual."

Kyouya raised his eyebrows again.

"Seriously," Hikaru said. "More. Than. Usual."

Kyouya cocked his head to the side and turned his attention to the floor, where Tamaki was now banging his fists on the ground.

"What did you do now, you idiot?" he muttered, his eyes scanning the storage room for any evidence. "I swear, every single time, I-"

He stopped as his eyes fell on Tamaki's Sulking Supplies.

"Oh, dear," Kyouya muttered, but he sounded far more amused than he did worried.

"What is it?" the twins asked.

At this point, Kyouya was chuckling, which for him was flat out hysterics.

Smacking a hand to his forehead, he pointed with his other hand at the floor. The twins quizzically followed Kyouya's finger and saw what they had expected. Lots of ramen, even more instant coffee, and-

"Oh. My. God." The twins said in unison, and then promptly burst into hysterics to rival Tamaki's. They joined him on the floor, holding their stomachs and laughing. "HAHAAA- I CAN'T BELIEVE- AHAAHAHAA-HE'S SO STUPID-HAHAHAA"

Noticing the commotion and not wanting to be left out, Hunny came barreling onto the scene.

"What? What?" he asked, jumping up and down excitedly. "What are we all laughing about?"

As the twins were too busy choking on their giggles, Kyouya did the honors. He pointed at Tamaki's mushroom kit.

"It would seem that out fearless leader has accidentally gotten himself some psilocybin mushrooms."

"Psilo- what?"

Kyouya barely suppressed a smile. "I believe the street term is "shrooms," he replied.

And he left the four boys to laugh themselves silly in the club closet.

* * *

Seven hours later the club gathered together for their weekly meeting. This time, however, they were not discussing actual club matters. Instead, the twins were doing a spirited rendition of Tamaki's little episode, while Tamaki sat to the side, ashamed and still a little affected by the drugs.

In his stupor, he managed to catch Haruhi's eye. He gave a little whimper, and everyone looked at him (mainly in apprehension, as they knew it was highly likely he would burst into hysterics again).

"What is it, senpai," Haruhi asked

"I-I'm sorry."

Haruhi was confused. "For what," she asked.

"Getting high?" Hikaru cut in.

A chuckling Kaoru added "Because that, Boss, was awesome. Don't apologize. Just do it again."

Tamaki shook his head.

"That's not it."

"Then what is?"

Tamaki sighed and flopped back into his chair, tears in his eyes.

"I ruined your dream, Haruhi," he sniffled dramatically. "I'm so sorry. I know how badly you wanted to go to that library, and I'm such an idiot for-"

"Wait, I don't care about that."

Tamaki gave a hopeful whimper.

"Really?"

Haruhi shrugged. "Well yeah. Honestly, I didn't really want to go in the first place. I'm sort of glad it didn't work out. I wasn't in the mood for anymore uselessness, so it's fine."

Tamaki smiled. "REALLY?" he exclaimed, completely missing the subtle insults in Haruhi's words. "You're not mad? Oh, that's wonderful!"

He paused mid-euphoria and his face fell.

"Wait, but..that means we still need to fulfill your bucket list item!"

He gasped as if this was the most pressing thing in the world.

"I, Tamaki Suoh, hereby declare today to be "Make Haruhi's Super Amazing Bucket List dreams Come True" day! We shall-"

"No thanks," Haruhi muttered, putting a stop to his theatrics. "I've got work to do."

She started walking out the door, but Tamaki shouted after her: "Wait! Wait! What about your bucket list item?"

Haruhi waved him off. "Give my spot to Hunny-senpai or something. See ya."

And with that, she closed the doors behind her.

Tamaki pouted, muttered something about irresponsible daughters, and began heading to his sulking corner. Remembering the events that had occurred earlier, however, he gave a terrified squeal and leapt instead into Kyouya's lap.

"Mommy!" he screamed. "Haruhi won't listen to me. What do I dooooooo?"

A vein popped in Kyouya's forehead.

"Tamaki, I am not in the mood for this right now. I am trying to figure out how-"

Tamaki interrupted with a whimper. He threw his arms around Kyouya's neck and wailed "YOU HATE ME? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?"

Apparently the mushrooms were not completely out of his system.

Kyouya rolled his eyes. "Yes, Tamaki. That's what I'm saying. I hate you. So much. How did you guess?"

"But but but-"

"Okay, I know what I want my bucket list thing to be now!" piped up a small voice.

Everyone looked around to find Hunny putting his finger to his lip thoughtfully.

"Kyouya,"

Hunny looked thoughtfully back and forth between Kyouya and Tamaki.

"Tell Tama-chan you love him."

The room fell silent.

"What," Kyouya asked dangerously.

"I said, tell Tama chan you love him."

Now certain they had heard correctly, the Host Club was left speechless. At last, Kaoru broke the silence.

"Uh..Hunny senpai," Kaoru piped up experimentally. "Have you been spending a little…too much time with your fangirls..?"

Honey raised an eyebrow at the younger twin. "Huh? Why? I-"

And then he realized how his request sounded.

"Oh, wait, no! I just wanted Kyouya to remember that he's Tama-chan's best friend. 'Cuz I don't think he says it enough."

Hunny stared sweetly up at them all, and Tamaki's eyes watered.

"Oh, Hunny senpai, you are absolutely right. Thank you for attempting to rekindle the fire of our friendship."

Kyouya snorted. "Not going to happen."

This time, it was Honey who almost started to cry.

"But Kyo-chan," he pouted. "Please?"

And he turned his puppy dog eyes on.

Nobody was able to resist the puppy eyes.

Nobody.

Kyouya was not phased.

Honey quickly realized that his strategy was not working, so he moved on to Plan B. His eyes darkened and he glared at Kyouya with a stare that made most grown men soil their underpants.

"Kyouya."

Everyone shivered.

"I'm going to ask you again."

The twins dived behind the couch.

"Tell. Tamaki. You love him."

Mori put his hand on his cousin's shoulder.

"Because if you don't…"

He knew that if his cousin went any farther, he would probably break something. Or, most likely, someone.

But before he could make a move, Honey spoke up again.

"Then I'll eat double the amount of cake every day," he finished in the deadliest tone he could muster.

Mori's hand left his shoulder. The twins popped out from behind the couch.

"That-"

"-Was your big threat?"

They all looked at Kyouya, expecting him to smirk and turn away. But to their shock, the dark haired boy was staring intently at his smaller senpai, as if seriously considering this. Apparently the monetary value of cake was higher than he liked.

"And if I agree to this…thing?"

Honey smiled. "Then I cut down on my cake eating. For a month."

The rest of the club watched the interaction between the two boys, moving their heads side to side as if watching a volleyball match.

After what seemed like an hour, Kyouya finally spoke.

"What do I have to do," he asked, in a voice that suggested danger.

Hunny jumped up and down in excitement.

"Tell Tama-chan you love him!"

Kyouya pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and sighed. Then he turned to Tamaki.

"Tamaki," he began, as though this was the hardest thing he had ever had to do.

"I…"

Everyone watched on eagerly.

"Loovuoo"

"What was that, Kyouya, couldn't hear you there!"

Kyouya closed his eyes, and then decided to get it over with.

"I love you, Tamaki."

Everyone cheered, while Tamaki grabbed Kyouya's hands. "I love you, too, mon ami. Our friendship is like a stone- lasting forever and-"

Disgusted, Kyouya pushed him away and attempted to regain his pride. "Stop groveling, idiot. Now, Hunny, I assume that is all?"

Hunny looked at him thoughtfully, a finger to his chin.

"One more thing."

* * *

The Host Club was absolutely forbidden from talking about the events of that day ever again.

But the twins would never forget what they came to think of as the greatest day of their lives.

While they were still thrown into giggle fits at the memory of High Tamaki, it was their fond recollection of Kyouya's antics at the end of that day that made them smile in their darkest times.

When things were going wrong, when life got hard, when they wanted to rip their hair out and scream at the sky-

They would simply bring up the image of Kyouya Ootori.

In a ballet tutu.

Telling them all what a pretty princess he was.

Hunny may have had to cut his cake consumption in half for the next two months, but he remained the Hitachiin's hero for life

* * *

**A/N: There ya go, chapter five. Keep sending ideas for the bucket list in, and I will try my hardest to update as regularly as possible. Thanks guys :)**


	6. If you give an idiot a blender

**This chapter's Bucket list idea was requested by OhMyGoshsickles. Thanks so much!**

* * *

"Welcome, ladies!"

The Hosts stood in their pre-planned positions as usual, posing just so for optimal fanservice as the girls walked into Music Room 3.

The guests, as per usual, sighed and stared at the boys, who today had decided to greet their guests shirtless.

There was no theme for the day.

They had just decided to show up shirtless.

Because they could.

The girls weren't complaining. They "oohed" and "ahhed" and stared unabashedly at their hosts' chests.

In the midst of the staring, one of the girls, Rei Hanabashi, walked up to Haruhi. "Haruhi- kun," she asked. "Um…why are you wearing a shirt?"

The other girls, done being blinded by the majesty that is six attractive shirtless guys, all began surrounding Haruhi as they discovered this tragedy.

Pouting, one of them added "Yeah, Haruhi, are you too shy to show us?"

The girl next to her giggled. "Come on, Haruhi, you have nothing to worry about! We'll be gentle." She looked up flirtatiously, batting her eyelashes at the host.

Haruhi didn't notice. She was too busy wondering how, exactly, to explain to these girls that she could not take her shirt off because her supposed manly chest came with breasts.

Luckily, the twins came to her rescue, each placing a hand on her shoulder.

Laughing nervously, Hikaru started: "Well, you see, Haruhi is suffering from-"

"A hideous rash," Kaoru continued. The twins looked at each other, nodded in satisfaction, and left a furious Haruhi alone to explain to the group of concerned girls that yes, she had a rash, no, it was not contagious, and yes, she was fine.

Once the girls were assuaged that Haruhi was alright and all the guests were comfortably seated with the host of their choice, Tamaki cleared his throat and stood up. The guests instantly quieted down and stared dutifully up at their king.

Tamaki, happy as always to be in the spotlight, took a moment to bask in the glow of their attention, then announced regally "As President of the Host Club, I am proud to announce that I, Tamaki Suoh, have invented…"

A drum roll began, seemingly out of nowhere.

Nobody found this odd.

"The Tama-chan Super Secret Nothing Better Commoner Style Snack Pack !" With flourish, the blond uncovered the table that had suddenly appeared next to him when the drum roll had started to reveal five large cups filled with different colored…goop.

That was the only way they could be described.

The girls stared at the table for a minute, wondering if they were missing something, until one of them finally spoke.

"What..what is it?"

Tamaki smiled at her indulgently.

"This, my princesses, is my latest attempt at completing my bucket list. I've always loved commoner snacks, and so I decided to combine all of my favorites to create the ULTIMATE commoner's snack. Isn't it brilliant?"

Cautiously, the girls walked up to the table, examining the cups. "What's this one?" One of the girls who had been sitting with Honey asked, pointing to the brown cup on the far left.

Clearly delighted that people were showing interest, Tamaki strutted over to the girl and smiled. "This, my dear, is what I like to call my "American" version of the snack. I have stayed up many nights researching popular American foods, and last night I finally perfected it. Take a taste!"

The girl sniffed the brown goo warily and tried to hide her disgusted expression. "That's okay, Tamaki, I'm still full from lunch.."

Tamaki pouted. "Does nobody want to taste my invention?"

Finally, a girl from Tamaki's group took pity on him.

"I'd..uh…love a taste, senpai."

She looked as though she'd like nothing better than to get as far away from the snacks as possible. Her refined palate was just not made for something like this.

Nevertheless, the girl took a brave step forward, sniffed the goop cautiously, and took a tentative sip. Tamaki and the other girls watched her expectantly. At last, the girl's face broke out in a smile.

"It's…good!" She cried, taking another sip. Tamaki grinned and the other girls began clamoring for a taste from the other cups.

Everybody began talking at once.

"Tamaki, what's in this one?" cried the girl who had just taken a sip from the green cup.

"Ah, Mademoiselle, that's my Classic Homestyle Japanese concoction, a combination of the foods my father used to tell me were delicacies here in Japan when I lived in France. I have learned since that pocky is not a delicacy, but I hope you enjoy it regardless!"

Kyouya took a step towards the table and sniffed the cup farthest to the left.

"Tamaki," he muttered. "How exactly did you make these?"

"Seriously, boss," Kaoru broke in. "What did you do, dump a bunch of foods in the blender and leave it at that?"

The look on Tamaki's face said it all.

"Oh, gross!" Kaoru stuck out his tongue. "And you're serving it to the guests?"

The other hosts looked disgusted. Hikaru pointed to the cup Tamaki had dubbed his "American" concoction. "Uh, boss, what exactly did you put in here?"

Unashamed, Tamaki answered. "Cheeseburgers, apple pie, potato chips, and cracker jacks! The internet said that those are the four most common foods in America!"

The twins mimed vomiting motions. Tamaki ignored them.

Haruhi watched as one of the girls took a long sip from the brown cup. "That's…disgusting."

Tamaki smiled, as if Haruhi were simply teasing him. "Look, my daughter! I made this one for you." He pointed to a murky gray cup in the center of the table. "It has all of your favorites! Commoners ramen, fancy tuna…"

Haruhi's eye twitched. "No thanks, senpai."

"But you have to-"

Not wanting to get into a fight with Tamaki now, Haruhi decided to lie through her teeth.

"I'm not so hungry now, plus the girls seem to be enjoying it so much, I don't want to take it away from them."

Satisfied, Tamaki walked away, and Haruhi breathed a sigh of relief. The hosts watched on as the girls drained all five cups, completely astounded they could possibly enjoy that slop.

When hosting was done for the day, the girls all filed out of the room, and Tamaki waved at them happily, glad that his snacks had been such a success.

* * *

The Host Club was closed for the next two weeks. The guests, apparently, had all coincidentally come down with the stomach flu at the exact same time.

Assuring Tamaki that it was, by no account, food poisoning, because yes, of course, his snacks had tasted wonderful, the girls also requested that they never be brought to the club again.

The world, they claimed, was simply not ready for The Tama-chan Super Secret Nothing Better Commoner Style Snack Pack.

* * *

**A/N: Kyouya, of course, sent all of the girls lovely gift baskets as a thank you for pretending Tamaki's inventions tasted good. Always the gentleman.**

**Remember, I could always use more ideas for the list, so feel free to shoot me some. :)**


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